A New Life

I'm feeling a bit of a need to brag. This is not coming from vanity, self-righteous behavior, or any sort of gloating. More from that exuberant, intensely proud part that comes when one feels they're finally doing something right. 

This July I made a decision to stop. Stop blaming myself, blaming others, blaming anything and take the control God can give me to stop my obesity.

I've been on at least one diet a year since the age of 14. To be honest, I probably started sooner than that, but I distinctly remember watching an infomercial diet that advertised individuality, appealing to my adolescent need for self-distinction. Acquiring the diet plan didn't take much pleading, as my parents have been continually and rightfully concerned for my health and encourage all healthy actions to better myself. The diet plan worked a bit; I was only 5-10 lbs overweight at the time (based on the BMI index, not age) and as long as I could keep up with my "individualized" diet and exercise plan would I be able to succeed. Only... I was stifled. My diet plan consisted of few foods which appealed to my palate, so I ended up eating only baked fries, salad, egg whites, toast, and lean chicken. Not bad meals, really, but when that's all you can eat, every day... reverting back is almost irresistible.

I miss Belle :(

Since then I've steadily gained weight. I've tried the aforementioned Six Week Body Makeover, no fat/fried/sweets, eating baked fish 24/7, Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet, counting calories. I've tried exercise plans like Slim in 6, Tae Bo, Wii Fit, etc. I even tried applying for the Lap-Band, although the qualifications at the time were more stringent and costly than I could afford. All with fast short term results, instant gratification, and no staying power. Weight Watchers and South Beach were the best ones in terms of my dedication, and I can definitely see people using those plans, losing weight, and staying healthy. In fact, every diet I've tried has merit. There are people who've used them in a non-clinical atmosphere and had success. I am not one of those people, and blaming myself for failing has led me to higher weight and more depression.

This July I realized my problem. I'm too focused on the here and now, on being a size 2 next month. I'm too focused on adding strict rules, numbers, gadgetry, anything to make it "easier" that invariably I get bogged down and hopeless. I'm too focused on food in general. I don't want to keep a food journal. I don't want to try and figure out how many points are in every piece of food I put in my mouth for the rest of my life, or give up certain whole food groups (minus fats & sweets) only to bloat back up the moment it crosses my lips. This isn't true of everyone, just of me. My teenage individuality is rearing its head :).

So I've made my life simple. Rather than start a short term diet, I've changed my complete lifestyle. Rather than maintaining a strict count what I'm consuming, I'm keeping a fluid  knowledge of what is best for my body in terms of healthy weight loss (calories, fat, protein, sodium, fiber) . If I cross that, I'll forgive myself and do better the next day. Rather than eating only certain types of bland healthy foods, I'm eating all types, focusing on eating more fruits and veggies but not limiting myself to only those. I've subscribed to Cooking Light, one of the best decisions I've made on my road to being healthy, cooking primarily from its contents. I have cut out certain foods, not groups, that lead me back to bingeing (sp?), like potato chips and candy and certain types of cooking that have no nutritional value (e.g. frying).

Say No to Chips

I have had to accept parts of myself that I wanted to reject, such as the knowledge that I will always want to over-eat, I will always want to choose convenience over health, I will always want to be lazy rather than exercise :). Submitting to those wants has put me here in the first place. 

But the reward for taking a hold of my life has been sweet. I can see myself changing, my outlook happier, my complexion even clearing. I feel more confident in my skin and confident in change. I don't obsess about food as much as am aware. I'm watching my daughters enjoy foods many of their peers abhor.

Roasted Butternut Squash and Bacon Pasta, Cooking Light

The best part? I've lost 22.8 lbs over the past 9 weeks. My goal is 30 lbs this year, continuing over the next year and half until I'm back in a healthy weight range. Hurray!

One of Those

Today has been one of those days. You know, where Fuel's Bad Day keeps playing in your head, followed by Free Bird, and you empathize a little too much with Abigail Salmon.

Fuel - Bad Day (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Fuel

There was a bright spot today, and his name is Zazzles. Or Portal. I still haven't decided :). In March my sweet sweet kitty of 12 years breathed her last breath. Belle's death hit me very hard and after a few months grieving I have been ready to let another feline into my heart. Matt has kindly allowed me to get a cat for my birthday :). We've picked him out, just waiting for his neutering to take place and we'll be bringing him home to the family tomorrow! Check him out. What do you think his name should be?

Is he not gorgeous?

Sweetest personality ever.

The girls might be excited. Might.

Meet-n-Greet went well :)

Name suggestions:


Zazzles


Portal

Two posts, back to back?! *Faint*

It's pikcha time!


The Smiths, long time friends of Matt's family, came for a competition and visit a few weeks ago. We had a great time visiting with them and the girls were t.h.r.i.l.l.e.d. with Kendall and Taryn.

Kendall and Taryn were having the worst time ever.

Crazy girl with purple/pink nails!

Sisters in Hammock

Buddies

Hammocks = Delight

Ruuuun Free! Free as the... something something.

Ok. I have more pictures, but it takes forevs to load these and I am smeepy. More pictures from Mom & Dad's picture session to follow.

4.45 and 2.80

It's been awhile. I know, I know. Partly because I moved up to most of my audience, partly because I was tired of writing sad poor-pitiful-us posts, partly because we've been busy, and mostly because I've been lazy. I've found it so much easier to take pictures of the girls with my phone than deal with a DSLR and all it entails. I'm regretting that big time now, as my phone takes pretty low-grade pictures and that will be all we have to document the past year or so. Thankfully Matt has come out of his photography funk with the arrival of friends and family to the area.

Since the last post about Aly's birthday life has been getting steadily better. I started work with Wes' company, bringing in much needed cash flow. Matt landed a tailor-made job: IT support for Comcast! We found a place to live and moved out at the end of April/beginning of May... life has finally come back on track for us. I could go on, but it would be boring. Let's get to the good stuff: my babies.

Aly's still as energetic, as talkative, as friendly as ever. She's very slowly learning to recognize letters, draw them, and can even spell "rainbow" if you catch her in a non-ADD moment. I spend quite a bit of time in Mommy-guilt, knowing she would be probably reading now if I spent more time teaching her letters, for she is that smart.

Aly has the most wondrous imagination of any child or adult I know. She will make up a wildly entertaining and creative story on the spot. If no audience is found, she'll use voices with her dolls and have them play out her dramas. I know that she will be an storyteller of some sort, whether in writing or in theater.

Lorelei is that little girl who knows exactly how cute she is and how to make it work for her. Everyone she meets gets wrapped around her little finger. She is also crazy smart with an analytical brain. Although she still takes the time to get to know a group of people before she warms up, she has definitely come out of her shell. Her speech is still a bit slower than other kids her age but she is becoming clearer every day. She loves to sing, can even harmonize a bit, and will make up songs with always the words "COME TWUUUU(true)" belted out at the end. She loves to use "forever" as her only sense of time.

Defender of Men

It's almost a month late, but better late than never, right?

This past January 27 was the birthday of one very special little girl. Unfortunately, my ideas for her birthday these past two years have fallen short, and it is by the grace of God that she's either forgotten my promises or I managed to keep my thoughts away from her ears. She's rolled with the poverty punches though, and hasn't complained too much when her last two birthday were subdued affairs and she didn't get the boatload of gifts children of this generation have come to expect.

Since we have no friends up here as of yet, Aly's birthday was only family. I figured this would be my last stress-free birthday party for her for at least 16 years, so we milked that. We bought (not made gasp) a yummy chocolate cake per her request from Magpies and Wes & Carole treated us all to dinner at Macaroni Grill. Not the typical birthday dinner for a four year old but she was ecstatic, knowing it was her day and enjoying every second. Before that, however, came Matt and my gift to her: ear piercings and her own picked-out-by-Aly earrings.

We went to Claire's in West Town Mall. Aly snuggled a bear while the patient piercing specialist (sometimes we all need a fancy name) prepped her ears and her mind, only interrupting to ask a few questions, quietly soaking in the unfamiliar atmosphere and situation permanence. Upon being given over 30 earring possibilities she chose my birthstone, ruby, because it was bright red ;). Apparently January's garnet dark red just wasn't red enough for her.  She tensed a bit and brought her hand to ear in reaction to the first piercing but didn't even react to the second. There were no tears, no complaining. She sat perfectly still as we adjusted the piercing, cleaned the wound, etc. Nothing more could have shown me how much she has grown up.

This video doesn't really show anything except Aly getting marked for piercing.

 

Since then she reminds us when it is time to clean the piercing, can clean and spin the earring herself, and hasn't tried to take them out. I'm hoping this is a precursor to how responsible she will be growing up.

Aly at four is a smart, sweet, funny, creative, imaginative princess. She is a master of colors and shapes, picks up patterns easily, but is still having trouble recognizing letters and numbers. She can entertain with the best of them and has an imagination that makes my heart swell every time I hear her voice it. She can infuriate me like no other. She equally tattles on and takes care of Lorelei, keeping them as close friends as I imagined when we first knew of Lorelei's possibility. Connie's gift of a Dora computer game has proven Aly to pick up computer skills incredibly fast, which still amazes me as she handles the game with ease and confidence. She can't stand to be by herself or not be a part of something, even if she is bored. She can be lazy and ask for anything and everything to be done for her, but for the most part she insists on doing everything herself, for she's a big girl. She loves to dress up and be a princess. Aly also loves mysteries, clues, and things to solve.

Today she's been sick and feeling a little blue, so I created a survey for her to help keep her mind off her illness.

Who is your favorite princess? Sleeping Beauty. Really? I thought you loved Ariel. I do love Ariel, I love Ariel AND Sleeping Beauty. Well, which is your favorite? .....Ariel.
What is your favorite color? RED!
What color do you not like? Green. (insert yucky face)
What is your favorite thing about yourself? (after much explaining and inane answers like horse and monkeys, she understood) My hair!
And by the way, she couldn't think of anything she didn't like about herself :).
Favorite food? Peanut butter jelly and turkey sandwich (which she has never had and would find disgusting if I ever combined all three in sandwich format)
She also could not think of a food she dislikes. She simply said, I like everything.
Favorite movie? Scooby Doo
Favorite hobby? Coloring
Favorite animal? Monkey!
Favorite season? Winter.
Favorite outfit? The dress Aunt Laney gave her for christmas, all pink and gray striped and soft.
Favorite song? The ABCDEFG song.
What makes you sad? When people spank me. (insert heartbroken Aly face)
What makes you angry? When you don't get out of bed (LOL!)
What makes you happy? When you do good (ROFL). What does that mean? Is there anything else that makes you happy? Yeah... I love yous!
When did you cry last? When I wanted my mommy
What is your favorite book? (after pointing to the first book she saw and being said that doesn't count) Little Red Riding Hood!
If you had money, what would you buy? A toy stroller
Do you know your birthday? January 27.
What color is your hair? Red
What color are your eyes? Brown, like yours.
What do you want to do when you grow up? Reach chips. No, no, I mean, what sort of job do you want to have? I want to work. (After explaining more and giving examples of jobs) I want to paint pictures.
When you grow up, do you want to be tall or short? Tall! 
Who is your best friend? Hailee!

Pictures of the ear piercings to be added as soon as we can figure out how to get them off Matt's phone ;).

Since Wes revealed today that he has not been keeping up with my blog these past few months, I feel I can safely unveil my true purpose in the Warren household in Knoxville: investigative reporting on the lives and minds of in-laws.*dun dun dun*  Matt and I cleverly actuated job loss throughout the Warren clan so we could claim, after a reasonable job search/loss of income/loss of house time period had passed, that we needed lodging to get back on our feet. The Warrens had no clue that this was all in our master plan. True, not many would have had the temerity to go to such lengths to get a couple of stories, but going halfway would be beneath us. I'm sure, once they've seen what we've done, all will be forgiven and maybe, maybe... even congratulated.

So here is the first account:

HOW TO KEEP YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW HAPPY

(I'm also toying with "How Not to be Thrown Out", "The Good Daughter-In-Law", and "Sea Bass: The Final Journey". I'm open to suggestions.)

Step One: Personal Space

Fathers-in-law, or Fillies as we domestic investigative freelance journalists like to call them, absolutely adore you when they cannot open their eyes without being reminded of you and your children. Toys, clothing, trash, half-eaten pieces of food: all are essential to Step One. Be sure to leave these objects in obscure locations as well as the obvious, such as closets, drawers, stairs, and inside socks.

Step Two: Dinner

Fillies love to try new and exciting dishes. They may not admit it, but they also love to have their food dislikes incorporated into each meal. For example, Wes detests onions. To ensure Filly/DIL happiness, I add onions to everything he puts in his mouth. White flecks in brownies? Onions. Slightly tangy water source? Onion. He thanks me later, silently.

Step Three: Grandchildren

The best way to encourage family joy is through abandonment of responsibility. In one scenario, plant your children in the same room as their grandfather, making sure to turn their whineometer on high. Then, leave the room to pursue own interests. Fillies certainly enjoy being left in charge of parental duties, from dirty diaper changes to countless milk refills, even sibling fights. In a second illustration, make sure to let your kids run wild while the Filly is on a phone call or watching Cash Cab. They will appreciate the challenge of maintaining concentration through chaos.

Step Four: Hobbies/Entertainment

One way to ensure a bond between father and daughter in law is the mocking of each others interests. If your Filly enjoys sports, throw out some good-natured ribbing of his favorite teams, making sure to leave room to root for the opposing side. There is nothing Fillies love more than banter. If he's watching a movie, assist his deduction of the ending with thinly veiled clues, if not the outright conclusion.

There are countless other ways to keep the family joy abounding, but stick with a basis of these four steps. You'll find upon application that bliss is inevitable.

So sayeth Mr. Darcy

This past November 19th I ordered some very nice, very expensive yarn intended for a hat for Mandy and a shawl Mom ordered for Aunt Kimmie. The girls and I had plans to drive down to Moselle on the 27th, but the combination of Priority Mail and the store's relatively close location in Atlanta ensured that it would be delivered on the 22nd, plenty of time before we left. The 22nd came and went, and upon looking at the tracking information I found that my expensive yarn package was in Mobile, not following the normal shipping route.

Alas, I had, in my excitement over finally having some luscious yarn on my hook, filled my address out incorrectly, writing a Mississippi zip code instead of our Knoxville one. I promptly emailed the company, who had impressed me so with their wide array of yarns and colors, low prices, and fast shipping, letting them know of my idiocy and requesting that they let the USPS know of my updated zip code. EatSleepKnit, just as promptly, wrote me back informing me that, once in the USPS's hands, their packages are out of their control, and they would notify me once the package was deemed undeliverable and sent back to their company. I called the USPS's main office and two of the Knoxville branches to find if I could at least pick up my own package before the Thanksgiving holidays began. I was assured that the package should be sorted and delivered by the 27th-29th, but I could not pick it up until it had been sorted.

I ended up visiting a local yarn shop and finding a similar sort of yarn for Mom's order, and joked about it with my sister, secure in the knowledge that if the yarn arrived while I was in Mississippi, I would still have plenty of time to finish the hat before Christmas. The girls and I traveled to Mississippi, I made all of Mom's orders and most of my Christmas gifts in the two weeks we were down there. The tracking information never changed from Knoxville's processing center, and lost package calls to the USPS only resulted in a confirmation number that someone was eventually going to look into it.

After sitting in Knoxville for 2.5 weeks, my package bounced around the South. I finally gave up on the USPS after 10 calls and two confirmation numbers. I had emailed the company as well several times, asking for help, for them to file a claim, for something. My last email went ignored, which has aggravated me the most through this whole ordeal. For the most part I have blamed myself, but after two weeks of hearing nothing in reply from EatSleepKnit has allowed me to share the blame. I gave up on them too, yesterday, and spent the day writing complaint letters in my head.

They changed the Expected Delivery Date from November 22, 2010 to today this morning ;)

Today the package was delivered. Out of the blue. I had looked at the tracking info yesterday and it showed that it had been processed through Atlanta on Jan.5 as the last update. I had been hoping, fingers and toes crossed, that they were sending it back to the company.

The yarn is so pretty :). I can finally make Mandy's Christmas present and I also have some yummy Madelinetosh yarn to dream up projects for.

Although I did finally get my yarn, this experience has completely soured me to the USPS. It took 47 days for someone to finally write the right zip code down and send it on. I believe UPS will be my parcel service from now on :).