Excuse Me While I Go Hide in This Corner

In my heart, I know God has a plan for us, and that we will be okay. I know this. I do. But someone needs to tell that to the ulcers forming in my stomach, because they didn't get the memo.

I tend to have unreal expectations. Just ask my family, I bet they're nodding in synchronization. Bethany, that dreamer. I've always rationalized that while yes, I do dream unrealistically, if we all pursued the path set before us, no lofty ideals above our station, we'd still be in caves hunting and gathering. Unfortunately for me, however, I don't have that special something to usually make my dreams a reality. Then the cynical part of me takes over.

I was expecting that by now we would have some sort of lead(s). Every idea we brainstormed about while crossing our fingers that Frito-Lay wouldn't fire Matt for the stupidest reason ever hasn't panned out. With all the people we know working at corporations and jobs Matt could do/would enjoy, none of them are hiring.

I know. I've been silly. I'm sure all the people who were laid off during the recession would laugh hysterically at me for thinking we'd have some sort of bite after searching for a week. And I know that we're young, so our bounce-back ability is much higher than it could be. Our family is healthy. We have an awesome network of friends and family who've been unconditionally supportive and encouraging. For the moment, we still have our house. We still have food on the table. Things could definitely be worse.

Try as I might to focus on these blessings, on being adult and taking things in stride... well, my thoughts seem to linger a moment on the happy and then race back to worry. While Matt is still mostly confident, practical, and optimistic, if I continue down this path I will eventually bring him down to the sleepless emotional turmoil that I'm dealing with.

I know everyone who reads this blog has been praying for us (I can't explain how much that means to me), and I ask that you continue praying. While you're on the subject, would you mind saying a little prayer for me? So I can handle all of this gracefully and optimistically?

Another Brick in the Wall

Buy Pringles, everybody.

Today Matt is officially unemployed. He has been suspended since Monday, and we were left with hope that his route would be changed or he would be at least demoted, but the evil 2010 gods of chaos would not let that be so.

Right now, I'm stressing. Having accepted his fire as inevitable this past weekend, then beginning to hope from the insinuations of Frito-Lay managers has left a sour taste in my mouth. While we had resolved to view this as an opportunity for Matt to find a more family-friendly, intellectually motivating career, we had both begun to believe that search would be done from the comfort of a weekly paycheck.

Matt is upbeat and confident that something will come his way. I feel helpless, annoyed with myself that the responsibility is falling upon his shoulders. Truly, his work experience outweighs my degree in finding a decent paying job. Why do college advisors allow degrees in English without a second degree of business, journalism, or education? Travesty.

Please keep us in your prayers that not only will Matt find a good-paying job quickly, but that said job is a good match for him.